Friday, 13 January 2017

The Beauty of 31

“If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?” - Tina Fey

31! Call it what you want, but we know some will call it young, some will call it old, and either or... I have to be ok with it. 

At 31, I have birthed two kids, I have a ton of grey hairs, and my body is nothing like it was 15 years ago... who I am as a person and the life I live has only grown richer in more than a few ways. 

These 30's are truly the best years of my life.

To open up about my life journey a bit, at 16 years old I started struggling with big body issues. Numbers on a scale and counting every single calorie that went into my body. At 19 I was forced to deal with my issues. By then I was fully diagnosed with an eating disorder and was the most unhealthy I have ever been in my life. In my mind though, it was the perfect way to control the stresses and insecurities of my life. 

As I wasted away and was faced with more than a few times of feeling completely hopeless and unable to cope with my need to control I was admitted to a rehabilitation centre that truly changed my life. After 3 long weeks of in-hospital care and finally 6-months of an in-home program in Vancouver, B.C. I was on the road to recovery. As fantastic as the program was, I know full well I would be where I am today without my faith. 

At 20 years old and a big change in job and lifestyle, I slowly and steadily took a step day-by-day to recovery. It took a long time. Not necessarily a long time to stop my habits but a long time to become as confident, whole and happy with myself as I am today. The great thing is, I am happier to be who I am today than I believe I would have been without going through it all. Although I have struggled with missing the boat on years of college or university as I sat my way through endless counselling and programs I am beyond grateful and see the good in what all of these other life experiences have made me. 

At 31 one, I assumed I would be insecure (as young as it truly still is)... I assumed the numbers would be growing and every comment made of how old I am getting would sting. Every joke about my grey hair or wrinkle appearing on my face would dig a little deeper.
But no, instead now... through all of the guidance and education, I can fully and confidently be ok with my changing body. A body that will only continue to age, change and mature. 

"Youth and beauty are not accomplishments, they’re the temporary happy by-products of time and/or DNA. Don’t hold your breath for either," - Carrie Fisher

Life is so much more than how we look, and our world's standards are beyond our ability to meet. There will always be someone we will feel we can not live up to, and the grass may always seem greener on the other side. But the great thing is, we have the ability to set our own standards in our own lives and not care about what anyone else thinks. What beauty is to you is all that matters. Be gentle with yourself, and know you are strong. Know that we can't control everything and that is ok. We will have moments of failure and moments of success and in it all, trust in the process. We may feel like a small fish in a big sea but we come with big purposes that we may never fully know, see or feel... but always know, you have a purpose. 

Nursing Bracelet: DearLovesCo.

2 comments so far

  1. Favorite line: "We may feel like a small fish in a big sea but we come with big purposes that we may never fully know, see or feel... but always know, you have a purpose."

    You are so beautiful Julie and I am so blessed to have been able to connect with you. Keep sharing your pure heart and being such a positive influence on others. XO

    1. Just figured out I had comments on my blog haha. Thank you fore reading and thank you for your kind words! xo


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